Its Been so Long

Standard

I hear you whisper, “Ray, where are you. You have been away for to long now.”

“I’m sorry Father, all this work just keeps driving you out, driving you out.”

I know I’m hurting, and I know exactly what I need to do, yet its so hard.

My foot treads lightly, doubting the only solid ground, I’ve known thus far.

How could you love me, after all these wicked things Ive done, these things I do?

With all my sinning, I stick this spear deep within you, all the way through.

I feel so empty, how did I fall this far, what have I missed.

Father I beg you, take me away from all this, with clenching fists.

“Enough is enough, son you are made to be just like me, your blood I bleed.”

Sometimes we must die, in order to be set free. I’m finally clean.

 

Father I’m running, faster than I ever have before, right to your door.

Your arms wide open, Loving me as you did, you do, forever more.

My fear escaping, I finally feel your peace, it consumes me!

You take me burden, the weight is no longer heavy. I can Finally breathe.

“Now that I’m home Lord, please allow me to obey your will. What is your will?”

“I only ask you to believe in me, and tell the world I’m real, I love them still”.

“Please let them know, I love them still.”

“I love you still.”

Advertisements

Rocking Chair

Standard

I still see her now

Full of worry without a care

Forgetting to forget

Living in a rocking chair

Once I knew her not, merely a reflection

That day that she fell, God made His selection

To send me as the one to help this poor old lady

To comfort when the absence of thought drives her crazy

A life long lived is rapidly passing

Once full of adventure, now consistent in napping

She counts every moment like clocks on the wall

Then suddenly forgets she ever counted at all.

That face I remember never knew so much sorrow

Forgetting today while she looks for tomorrow

Every moment the same, no difference she finds

A House light up for sight, aids me in going blind

Her questions repeat, finding relief in my answer

This dementia grows hungry, eating her cells like a cancer

She traveled the world but photographs are all that remain

Her mind is a treasure that no medicine can claim

It tries and it tries, but to no avail

There are holes in the boat. There is a tear in the sail

My God! My God! This sight that I see

I pray my dear Savior “Do not let this happen to me”

To her I’ll be near, friendly words I shall speak

I will remind her that tomorrow is the start of a new week

Lord please give me the right things to say

I’ll comfort this woman until her dying day

I still see her now

Full of worry without a care

Forgetting to forget

Dying in a rocking chair

Broken Glass

Standard

When I was a boy, I wanted to grow up to be a baseball player. It was my dad’s dream more than my own, but still the idea fascinated me. The driveway of my childhood country home was well equipped with an array of various rocks of all sizes. Being a boy, I loved to throw these rocks for substantial amounts of time, given I had but a little sister, for my brother had moved out, and being on the poorer end of society, not many others forms of entertainment were presented to me. An indention on a tree, the pigs or dogs, and the mailbox were all suitable targets, but never did I dare whirl myself around and throw in the direction of the house. It had been imprinted in my brain to respect and protect the little that we did have, and therefore the trees suffered most of my punishment. However, on a warm summer evening, my sister stepped up to our glass screen door, peering into the front yard to catch eyes with me holding a golf ball sized rock in my hands. A sudden unexplainable urge came over me in  that moment, and I had no choice but to hurl the rock at what seemed to be an incredible speed, directly at my little sisters face. She made no attempt to get out of harms way, for time did not allow for plausible thoughts to be conjured, one must simply accept the flash of consequences at hand. The glass shattered into a million pieces, sharp blades encompassed my sisters being. Immediately, I feared for the worst. After the initial shock of my terribly rash decision, I ran up the wooden stairs of our porch, skipping a step at a time, as accustomed, to make sure she was ok. By the grace of God, not a mark was laid upon the child, not a cut to be found. My young mind wondered how this was so, for I saw the pieces of glass fly everywhere. I picked a piece up to inspect it more thoroughly, dullness was not among its qualities. Mind boggled, I went to look at the scene of the crime, the screen door. As i stared at it for quite some time, something in my brain clicked, for I now knew the answer. The glass was entirely busted, except for a small portion in one of the corners, yet my memory permits me from stating a specific one, which was decorated by a small sticker that was placed there by my mother. The sticker was a black cross, untouched and standing proudly, placed upon the glass with purpose, a living object that needed no heart. In this moment I was acquainted with God’s desire to save, to protect, to stand alone when the fragile glass we build shatters and is no more. So many times I choose to go my own way in life, to put other stickers on my screen door, or even try to cover up the cross in the corner. God knows how I need him in the center, for I always end up broken without him. 

SAVED (My first work)

Standard

Drugs, adultery, hate, envy, malice, and lies

All filled my heart on the road to my demise.

Lungs full of smoke, my hope was thinning.

I cried in my pillow as the devil was grinning.

Hells fire was close, the pits seemed to be open.

My life was in pieces, I lay shattered and broken.

No where to turn, I had but one choice.

I whispered a prayer in a quaint sobbing voice.

“Lord I ask for forgiveness, but there is no way You could love me”

“Ive loved you since time began, now your sins are far from me.”

Inexpressible joy overflows my whole being.

Jesus heals the blind, I am finally seeing.

My sins were great but his grace is exceeding.

All because of his love, his death, and his bleeding.

They nailed him to wood, with hearts full of stone.

Jesus spreads out his arms and welcomes me home.

My, my, how much I have Changed.

All due to the Cross and His great name.

Push religion aside, Christ is the center.

All due to the Son, Heaven I will enter.

Once vile and wretched till grace I received.

Everything changed the day I believed.

Our time is so short, heed no hesitation.

We must be men of obedience, prayer, and meditation.

Claim Jesus before men, some would say why even bother.

Rewarded tenfold when He brings us to the Father

“This is the one I spoke of, no shame in this man.”

The glory I saw i could not understand.

Fell to my knees suddenly, no pain in the fall.

That day on the cross my Lord bore it all.

We all will die, but we have more than one life.

Heaven is the home for bondservants of Christ.

Give your life to him, its such a fair price.

Do this and one day ill see you in Paradise.

I could speak of Christ’s glory until time has receded

I realize now that he was all that I ever needed.

This poem has grown in stature and length.

Obviously closing is not one of my strengths.

Be that as it may, I bid you good day.

This is a Story of how Christ saved Ray.

My Dreams

Standard

My dream is to one day travel the world, helping out as many people as i can in the process. Every Step will be recorded and remembered. Each story will be a puzzle piece and one day one of you might see the whole picture, maybe the eyes of the earth will see. Insight and wisdom can be found throughout my stories if you pay enough attention. Galileo Galilei said it himself “I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him.” I hope that everyone will learn from my writings. This is my story!