Its Been so Long

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I hear you whisper, “Ray, where are you. You have been away for to long now.”

“I’m sorry Father, all this work just keeps driving you out, driving you out.”

I know I’m hurting, and I know exactly what I need to do, yet its so hard.

My foot treads lightly, doubting the only solid ground, I’ve known thus far.

How could you love me, after all these wicked things Ive done, these things I do?

With all my sinning, I stick this spear deep within you, all the way through.

I feel so empty, how did I fall this far, what have I missed.

Father I beg you, take me away from all this, with clenching fists.

“Enough is enough, son you are made to be just like me, your blood I bleed.”

Sometimes we must die, in order to be set free. I’m finally clean.

 

Father I’m running, faster than I ever have before, right to your door.

Your arms wide open, Loving me as you did, you do, forever more.

My fear escaping, I finally feel your peace, it consumes me!

You take me burden, the weight is no longer heavy. I can Finally breathe.

“Now that I’m home Lord, please allow me to obey your will. What is your will?”

“I only ask you to believe in me, and tell the world I’m real, I love them still”.

“Please let them know, I love them still.”

“I love you still.”

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Learning something New

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At first I hated it

I wanted nothing more than to flee from it

It took something I once loved and destroyed it

Walls built strong that were toppled and crumbled

The enemy stood at the ready with torches

Pointing the flame at my city

I believed that all was lost

But the more I looked at this enemy

I saw the good in it. How it could bring me life

I began to understand it and desire it more and more.

It started to give me life.

The enemy quenched its torches

and picked up the hammer and nail.

What I once hated is now building me up

My walls are growing higher

My city is stronger than ever.

My family is safe again.

Run!

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If you asked me everyday to do something and I never did it, would you still love me? If I hurt you all the time and betrayed you constantly, would you still love me? If i promised to be better and then acted the same way the next day, would you still love me? If I beat you and cursed you and disrespected your very existence, would you still love me? If i went days without ever saying a word to you, even though you were always there, would you still love me? If I made time for others and not you, would you still love me? If I spent my entire life hating you and on my death bed asked for your forgiveness, would you still love me, even when I hated you? Would you love me if I killed you?

I have done all these things. As high as mountain tops my sin abounds. As deep as oceans my folly consumes me. As black as night my heart conspires with wickedness. I am the epitome of evil.

All these things, all these sins, all this pain, all this evil, He still loves me. No matter what I could possible do, He still loves me. I run towards the love. This love is so powerful that i flee from my past as fast I can.  For no matter what you have done, He still loves you. He still loves me. His love will change you, His love will guide you, and His love will sustain you. Run towards unfailing love and your past will only speed your journey. Run little children run, and don’t look back.

Rocking Chair

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I still see her now

Full of worry without a care

Forgetting to forget

Living in a rocking chair

Once I knew her not, merely a reflection

That day that she fell, God made His selection

To send me as the one to help this poor old lady

To comfort when the absence of thought drives her crazy

A life long lived is rapidly passing

Once full of adventure, now consistent in napping

She counts every moment like clocks on the wall

Then suddenly forgets she ever counted at all.

That face I remember never knew so much sorrow

Forgetting today while she looks for tomorrow

Every moment the same, no difference she finds

A House light up for sight, aids me in going blind

Her questions repeat, finding relief in my answer

This dementia grows hungry, eating her cells like a cancer

She traveled the world but photographs are all that remain

Her mind is a treasure that no medicine can claim

It tries and it tries, but to no avail

There are holes in the boat. There is a tear in the sail

My God! My God! This sight that I see

I pray my dear Savior “Do not let this happen to me”

To her I’ll be near, friendly words I shall speak

I will remind her that tomorrow is the start of a new week

Lord please give me the right things to say

I’ll comfort this woman until her dying day

I still see her now

Full of worry without a care

Forgetting to forget

Dying in a rocking chair

VISION

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Once there was a man in chains

His condition was very strange

He had no sight at all

but great vision he had obtained 

“I can not see to pluck my strings

or to gaze at all the finer things

but I can hear the beautiful song

and remember how my woman sings”

“All my sight has gone away

Complete darkness each and every day

 However My vision is as strong as ever

each and every time I play.”

“Play now for those in your midst”

“Certainly” he said, “if you insist”

A great presence fell over the room

Suddenly the chains broke from his wrists.

How can this be, we are amazed

The crowd looked on in disarray 

The man was released from his binds

Whenever he began to play

Sometime in life you don’t have to see

To live life to its entirety  

Be kind to all and do what you love

and surely God will set you free. 

SAVED (My first work)

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Drugs, adultery, hate, envy, malice, and lies

All filled my heart on the road to my demise.

Lungs full of smoke, my hope was thinning.

I cried in my pillow as the devil was grinning.

Hells fire was close, the pits seemed to be open.

My life was in pieces, I lay shattered and broken.

No where to turn, I had but one choice.

I whispered a prayer in a quaint sobbing voice.

“Lord I ask for forgiveness, but there is no way You could love me”

“Ive loved you since time began, now your sins are far from me.”

Inexpressible joy overflows my whole being.

Jesus heals the blind, I am finally seeing.

My sins were great but his grace is exceeding.

All because of his love, his death, and his bleeding.

They nailed him to wood, with hearts full of stone.

Jesus spreads out his arms and welcomes me home.

My, my, how much I have Changed.

All due to the Cross and His great name.

Push religion aside, Christ is the center.

All due to the Son, Heaven I will enter.

Once vile and wretched till grace I received.

Everything changed the day I believed.

Our time is so short, heed no hesitation.

We must be men of obedience, prayer, and meditation.

Claim Jesus before men, some would say why even bother.

Rewarded tenfold when He brings us to the Father

“This is the one I spoke of, no shame in this man.”

The glory I saw i could not understand.

Fell to my knees suddenly, no pain in the fall.

That day on the cross my Lord bore it all.

We all will die, but we have more than one life.

Heaven is the home for bondservants of Christ.

Give your life to him, its such a fair price.

Do this and one day ill see you in Paradise.

I could speak of Christ’s glory until time has receded

I realize now that he was all that I ever needed.

This poem has grown in stature and length.

Obviously closing is not one of my strengths.

Be that as it may, I bid you good day.

This is a Story of how Christ saved Ray.