Its Been so Long

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I hear you whisper, “Ray, where are you. You have been away for to long now.”

“I’m sorry Father, all this work just keeps driving you out, driving you out.”

I know I’m hurting, and I know exactly what I need to do, yet its so hard.

My foot treads lightly, doubting the only solid ground, I’ve known thus far.

How could you love me, after all these wicked things Ive done, these things I do?

With all my sinning, I stick this spear deep within you, all the way through.

I feel so empty, how did I fall this far, what have I missed.

Father I beg you, take me away from all this, with clenching fists.

“Enough is enough, son you are made to be just like me, your blood I bleed.”

Sometimes we must die, in order to be set free. I’m finally clean.

 

Father I’m running, faster than I ever have before, right to your door.

Your arms wide open, Loving me as you did, you do, forever more.

My fear escaping, I finally feel your peace, it consumes me!

You take me burden, the weight is no longer heavy. I can Finally breathe.

“Now that I’m home Lord, please allow me to obey your will. What is your will?”

“I only ask you to believe in me, and tell the world I’m real, I love them still”.

“Please let them know, I love them still.”

“I love you still.”

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Rocking Chair

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I still see her now

Full of worry without a care

Forgetting to forget

Living in a rocking chair

Once I knew her not, merely a reflection

That day that she fell, God made His selection

To send me as the one to help this poor old lady

To comfort when the absence of thought drives her crazy

A life long lived is rapidly passing

Once full of adventure, now consistent in napping

She counts every moment like clocks on the wall

Then suddenly forgets she ever counted at all.

That face I remember never knew so much sorrow

Forgetting today while she looks for tomorrow

Every moment the same, no difference she finds

A House light up for sight, aids me in going blind

Her questions repeat, finding relief in my answer

This dementia grows hungry, eating her cells like a cancer

She traveled the world but photographs are all that remain

Her mind is a treasure that no medicine can claim

It tries and it tries, but to no avail

There are holes in the boat. There is a tear in the sail

My God! My God! This sight that I see

I pray my dear Savior “Do not let this happen to me”

To her I’ll be near, friendly words I shall speak

I will remind her that tomorrow is the start of a new week

Lord please give me the right things to say

I’ll comfort this woman until her dying day

I still see her now

Full of worry without a care

Forgetting to forget

Dying in a rocking chair