Its Been so Long


I hear you whisper, “Ray, where are you. You have been away for to long now.”

“I’m sorry Father, all this work just keeps driving you out, driving you out.”

I know I’m hurting, and I know exactly what I need to do, yet its so hard.

My foot treads lightly, doubting the only solid ground, I’ve known thus far.

How could you love me, after all these wicked things Ive done, these things I do?

With all my sinning, I stick this spear deep within you, all the way through.

I feel so empty, how did I fall this far, what have I missed.

Father I beg you, take me away from all this, with clenching fists.

“Enough is enough, son you are made to be just like me, your blood I bleed.”

Sometimes we must die, in order to be set free. I’m finally clean.


Father I’m running, faster than I ever have before, right to your door.

Your arms wide open, Loving me as you did, you do, forever more.

My fear escaping, I finally feel your peace, it consumes me!

You take me burden, the weight is no longer heavy. I can Finally breathe.

“Now that I’m home Lord, please allow me to obey your will. What is your will?”

“I only ask you to believe in me, and tell the world I’m real, I love them still”.

“Please let them know, I love them still.”

“I love you still.”


Learning something New



At first I hated it

I wanted nothing more than to flee from it

It took something I once loved and destroyed it

Walls built strong that were toppled and crumbled

The enemy stood at the ready with torches

Pointing the flame at my city

I believed that all was lost

But the more I looked at this enemy

I saw the good in it. How it could bring me life

I began to understand it and desire it more and more.

It started to give me life.

The enemy quenched its torches

and picked up the hammer and nail.

What I once hated is now building me up

My walls are growing higher

My city is stronger than ever.

My family is safe again.



If you asked me everyday to do something and I never did it, would you still love me? If I hurt you all the time and betrayed you constantly, would you still love me? If i promised to be better and then acted the same way the next day, would you still love me? If I beat you and cursed you and disrespected your very existence, would you still love me? If i went days without ever saying a word to you, even though you were always there, would you still love me? If I made time for others and not you, would you still love me? If I spent my entire life hating you and on my death bed asked for your forgiveness, would you still love me, even when I hated you? Would you love me if I killed you?

I have done all these things. As high as mountain tops my sin abounds. As deep as oceans my folly consumes me. As black as night my heart conspires with wickedness. I am the epitome of evil.

All these things, all these sins, all this pain, all this evil, He still loves me. No matter what I could possible do, He still loves me. I run towards the love. This love is so powerful that i flee from my past as fast I can.  For no matter what you have done, He still loves you. He still loves me. His love will change you, His love will guide you, and His love will sustain you. Run towards unfailing love and your past will only speed your journey. Run little children run, and don’t look back.